I’ve noticed that, in the autumn months, I seem to be talking more and more with clients about relationship issues. Is it because the happy, carefree feelings of summer have left us? Honestly, I’m not too sure if there’s a correlation there. Perhaps it’s the stress and feelings of tension that often come with all of the autumn and winter holidays. Regardless, I have found myself talking about the principles in this week’s book more and more lately, so I figured I’d better share it with you!
The Five Love Languages, written by Dr. Gary Chapman, describes the dynamics of relationships and love in a simplistic and practical manner. Chapman discusses the idea that love is a choice and it takes work. As he states, so many people enter into a marriage and assume that their love will sustain itself and never be an issue. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. In reality, love takes time, effort, and constant consideration for both partners to feel emotionally fulfilled. In this book, Chapman describes what he calls ‘the five love languages’: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. Each person has their own primary love language, which helps to meet their emotional needs with regards to love. Chapman discusses the importance of recognizing and choosing to act on your partner’s love language as a way to fulfill the emotional needs of a love relationship.
My first encounter with this book was many years ago and the content completely made sense to me. While I think that calling them our love languages is kind of corny, I can’t fault the logic and principles behind Chapman’s work. In fact, I notice it all the time now in relationships that I experience or observe around me. I talk about love languages often with clients who are experiencing discord in their relationships and it always seems to be a concept that is understandable for people. Many of my clients seem surprised by how straightforwardly simple it all is and that seems to encourage them to try out new things in their relationship (i.e. speaking their partner’s love language). Personally, I love how Chapman discusses at length that love is a choice and it requires work. That’s a true fact that we often try to ignore when we feel enamoured with someone else…and then we are surprised when the cracks begin to show in the relationship. I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in looking at their relationships through a different lens and improving their interactions with loved ones.
Interested in this book? Click here!