Survival

The Power of a Diary

October 5, 2016 | Leave a Comment

This Week’s Book: Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self (L. Gottlieb)

So I’m currently trying to make my way through all of the many, many, many books on my shelf. This is a big endeavour for sure. I used to work at a bookstore, so books are abundant in my home and many of them have so far gone unread. Thus, the book that I chose for this week’s blog came off the shelf…and I honestly have no idea when or where I bought it. It’s been on that shelf for a long time…

Stick Figure is the compilation of a young girl’s diary entries. The diary was written when Gottlieb was 11 years old – a year that took her from being an intelligent, spunky and sometimes awkward girl with no concerns about weight to an intelligent, spunky, and more popular girl with an eating disorder. Like one of the comments on the front cover states, this book really does read like a novel. The readers are privy to the author’s thought processes and are part of the dramatic shift from not fussing about food and weight to completely restricting everything that she ate. Gottlieb’s descent into an eating disorder began out of spite her parents and was quickly reinforced by the reactions that she got from others (attention and anger from parents, awe and attention from classmates).

This book was actually really interesting. When I first grabbed it off the shelf, I wondered not only when I’d bought it originally, but why. I mean I don’t necessarily focus my work on people struggling with eating disorders, so it seemed like a bit of anomaly on the shelf. However, I quickly realized that this was not just a book about disordered thinking and eating, it was about perception, relationships, and communication.

One of the biggest things that stood out to me was the ridiculous double standards conveyed by the adults in Gottlieb’s life and the messages that she received on a regular basis. While her mom would barely eat her own meals, she berated her young daughter for doing the same thing. I can only imagine how confusing that would be for an eleven year old girl. Additionally, Gottlieb grew up in a time when gender roles were still very prominent and she had the self-awareness to know that she did not necessarily fit those roles. So from very early on, she and others in her life labelled her as an outsider – something that spurred her later choices about food. When Gottlieb meets a particular nurse who takes an interest in her (idiosyncrasies and all) and cares deeply about her, you can see her resolve about the eating restrictions start to falter. As a counsellor, my heart broke for Gottlieb because it was clear how much she wanted to be listened to, understood, and loved in those moments. After all, every kid just wants to fit in, be accepted and feel normal.

I would suggest that all parents read this book. When you do, you’ll discover how the misguided focus of a parent, the lack of listening, and eventual desperation can have disastrous effects. The way that we speak to our children and interact with them on a daily basis can shape their reactions, thought processes, and coping strategies. This book is also an interesting read from a feminist perspective, as it questions our ability to deviate from the norms and be different. It documents how we struggle with these concepts from a very young age.

Interested in this book? Click here.

Jumping on the Yearly Recap Bandwagon (Part 1)

December 14, 2015 | Leave a Comment

Well, 2015 is winding down to an end and I feel like it went fast. I also feel like that’s something that everyone says. While I’m not super down with making New Year’s resolutions, I am a huge fan of yearly recaps You know, like “10 Most Unexpected Breakups of the Year” or “The Top 25 Dresses of 2015”…ok I may have just revealed my guilty pleasure of reading celebrity gossip blogs and magazines. Ah well. Anywho, since I’ve read and blogged about 27 books this year, I’ve decided to jump on the yearly recap bandwagon and give you my “Top 10 Most Helpful Books” list. Of course, this is a completely biased list, based purely on my personal likes and dislikes, so take from it what you will…

#10: 10% Happier (D. Harris)
This was the first book that I blogged about, so I think that it holds a special place for me. It’s also hilarious…and I think that we all know by now that I’m won over by humour. 10% Happier is about one man’s journey through experiences with anxiety, panic, drug use, medication, and mindfulness. Honesty, humour, and openness are foundational to this book and likely the key to its overwhelming success.

#9: The Last Walk (J. Pierce)
Ok, so this book may be the polar opposite of the previous book. The Last Walk discussed in depth the process of and the grief that accompanies the loss of a pet. A much more serious and morose topic, but also a very important one. The author’s grief is obvious throughout the book and any pet owner will find themselves brimming with empathy and gaining understanding as they read it.

#8: Bald is Better with Earrings (A. Hutton)
Aaaaaand back to less serious…ok that sounds weird when discussing a book on breast cancer. Weird, but true. It’s all about tone in this book, as the author writes in a more informal and easily accessible style. This book would be insanely helpful for all people dealing with breast cancer, as well as family members and friends. The author gives an extremely candid window into all of the processes associated with breast cancer treatment and recovery.

#7: The Five Love Languages (G. Chapman)
This one’s a classic…corny terminology aside. Everybody seems to have heard of this book and the content, in my opinion, is pretty legit. The Five Love Languages looks at how different people give and receive love, how emotional needs are met, and how couples can heal issues in their relationship by looking at those “love languages.” This book is super helpful for people looking to better their relationships.

#6: Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin (A. Katherine)
This is another super helpful book, as everyone seems to struggle with defining boundaries and implementing them. Boundaries does just that – it defines boundaries, gives a multitude of examples, and discusses boundaries in a variety of contexts. Despite being an older book, the information is still helpful today.

Check out my top 5 next week!

How to Manage When You Discover You Have Breast Cancer

October 5, 2015 | Leave a Comment

This Week’s Book = Bald is Better with Earrings (by A. Hutton) Dealing with Breast Cancer

Ok, so I’m getting back to the books this week. I chose this book for several reasons, namely the topic, the smile that crossed my face when I read the title, and the shiny picture on the cover. To stave off any immediate questions in advance – no, I do not have breast cancer. I do, however, work with women and men who experience loss of all kind…so I want to be prepared and knowledgeable for those who come to see me regarding the losses associated with cancer.

Bald is Better with Earrings is the ultimate self-help book for people dealing with breast cancer. It is written by Andrea Hutton, a survivor of breast cancer, and it gives explicit details on exactly what to expect from the moment of diagnosis onwards. Hutton devotes chapters to discussing appointments, tests,
surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, and recovery. Throughout the book, she also provides suggestions (often in list form) based on her own experiences, the conversations that she’s had with other survivors, and the research she’s completed.

The first thought that I had when I started reading this book was that it read like a blog…then lo and behold, Hutton stated that this book started as a blog! The “blogness” of this book reveals itself in the informal language, the conversational tone, and the mass number of lists throughout the book (i.e. ‘Top 5 Tips for Handling Chemo’). Even though she writes in a relaxed manner, Hutton does not fail to stress how life-changing and serious a cancer diagnosis and the subsequent treatment is. She does not build false hope, but speaks in a realistic and hopeful way. This book is amazingly informative and helpful. I can see how it would take some of the fear out of a cancer diagnosis by describing (as much as possible) what you can expect to happen. It normalizes a lot of the experiences associated with cancer and provides a wealth of information in a way that will help people dealing with cancer to feel a small semblance of control in an otherwise chaotic situation.

I honestly can’t say enough good things about this book. As Hutton states on page 31, “This isn’t Grey’s Anatomy. This is your life.” So if you have been diagnosed with cancer, have a family member or friend with cancer, work as a health professional, or just have a general interest, buy this book. Read it, feel prepared, get some ideas, and develop an insane amount of empathy for someone who is going through cancer.

Interested in the book? Click here!

Why Self-Help Books Can be Totally Awesome

September 8, 2015 | Leave a Comment

Usually I spend my time on this blog writing about specific books that I’ve been reading, but this month I’ve decided to take a look at the self-help genre as a whole. So, let’s start on a positive note with some reasons why I think self-help books can be totally awesome.

Self-help books are abundant, so you have a ton of choices. There are a lot of self-help books out there, pretty much on every topic you can think of. Seriously – I just searched ‘self-help’ on the Chapters website and got over 90,000 results. If there’s something that you want to help yourself with, it seems highly probable that you will be able to find a book about it.

Self-help books are easy to get your hands on. I’m talking about accessibility here. There are tons of self-help books out there and luckily they are very easy to find. You can find self-help books at libraries, bookstores, used bookstores, grocery stores…heck, I’ve even seen them at little hole in the wall convenience stores. They are EVERYWHERE.

Self-help books are more likely to speak your language. No, I’m not talking about English or French or German or whatever actual language you speak (though I’m quite certain that you can get self-help books in all languages). I’m talking about every day, plain language. I’ve written quite extensively about my love for simplistic language. I really hate jargon and super academic language when I’m not in a classroom. Self-help books often take complex concepts and explain them in plain language, which is a big benefit in my opinion.

Self-help books usually offer activities. Who doesn’t like activities? Ok, I suppose they are usually termed ‘exercises’ in the books, but I prefer the more fun connotations that come with calling them activities. The activities can range from encouraging the reader to think about something specific to drawing something to filling in a worksheet. Regardless of what the activity is, it leads to the reader actively engaging in the material that they are reading and hopefully applying it more wholeheartedly to their everyday life.

Self-help books can be very inspirational and motivational. These books aren’t just theory, theory, jargon, theory. There’s almost a more personal element to them. They are written with the intention of helping you to help yourself. Inspiration and motivation could come through individual stories, quotes, or simply acquiring some knowledge about what you are going through. There is a normalizing factor that can be found in most self-help books, which often helps people to feel less alone in their struggles.

The Humour and Honesty of Survival

August 10, 2015 | Leave a Comment

This Week’s Book = This is How: Surviving What You Think You Can’t (by A. Burroughs)

Image c/o amazon.com

This book surprised me. I actually picked it up just to keep me occupied while I enjoyed a coffee and dessert at a local cafe…never thinking that it would be the topic of one of my blog posts. In all honesty, I thought that this book looked funny and like an easy read. It didn’t disappoint on either of those assumptions. However, it also invited the reader to look at some serious issues in a bluntly honest way…and with that, it became a book that I thought could be useful to chat about.

This is How is a book that forces readers to look at the tough areas of life. There is a dry wit that runs rampant throughout this book and is even evident in the chapter titles (‘How to Be Fat’, which is followed by ‘How to Be Thin’). Burroughs discusses 28 different topics (each getting its own chapter) – everything from suicide to eating disorders to losing a child. Throughout the book, there is a matter-of-fact tone as Burroughs shares many stories from his own life and makes blunt statements about each issue.

Part of me liked this book. It really was another laugh out loud on the Skytrain type of book…even the part where Burroughs compares therapists to hookers. Conversely, the other part of me feels uneasy about it. Sure, sometimes people need blunt statements and/or humour to kick their butt into gear. But not always. There were times when I was reading this book that I grimaced – I felt like Burroughs was minimizing some issues and talking about them in almost an arrogant fashion. On the flipside though, there were also sections of the book that seemed more successful with his straight-to-the-point style. In my opinion, the usefulness and even the humour of this book will depend on sensitivity of the reader and the issues that they may be dealing with at the time of reading. If you are a “no bullshit” type of person, this may just be the book for you. Keep in mind though – Burroughs is neither a self-help writer nor a counsellor.

Interested in the book? Click here!